Scotch and Proud

 

Rangers' new strategy revealed

The current Rangers first XI has seen a surprising rise in the number of first team players that are the bastard offspring of manager Ally McCoist. With budgets tight and new signings thin on the ground, it would appear that utilising the gaffer's extended gene pool  is now the main strategy to ensure success on the pitch.

 

Super Ally has often been fond on spreading it around and it seems that this tactic has brought longer term benefits to his beloved Ibrox.

Previous owner David Murray has stated that whilst he did not devise this strategy, "we knew that the more mini-McCoists there were, they greater the chance of Rangers' continued success."

 

The manager himself was unavailable for comment, though his lawyer did confirm that in some cases, complicated child support arrangements had led to some of McCoist's alleged sons gaining a place in the team. It is not clear whether this strategy will guarantee long-term success as McCoist is clearly already beginning to wilt

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