Scotch and Proud


No more fat fuckers

In an attempt to encourage the children of Scotland to not die early, a new national fruit has been developed which is set to transform the eating habits of the nation. The brunana will feature all the nutrition and girth of the traditional banana, whilst adopting a more appealing look and taste – that of Irn Bru.


Although the research and development of this revolutionary fruit was closely guarded, the Scottish Government have been at pains to stress that they have not merely imported extreme tonnages of bananas and then dipped them in Irn Bru. Independent tests have remained inconclusive.


Acknowledging that some might prefer their fruit “spiced up” there will be variants with both alcohol and caffeine replacing the nutrition bit.

Scotch fat kid