Scotch and Proud

 

Irish Flag banned from Celtic Park

The SFA have remarkably chosen to fight fire with fire as tensions mount with the Football Association of Ireland, ahead of Friday's crucial Euro qualifier. FAI Chief Executive John Delaney has controversially blasted SFA top brass for only allocating 1,690 tickets to the travelling away fans. Fears are growing that this could lead to large numbers of Irish fans mixing with the home support, bringing with it the risk of reprisal once the Scotch batter the pasty Irish XI.

 

Clearly still fuming from Delaney's criticism, the SFA has taken the unusual step of banning tricolours from Celtic Park. There has yet to be a major event broadcast (sporting or otherwise) that has not featured at least one Irish flag and experts are already declaring this to be the most ambitious SFA strategy since its inception.

 

Paul McGrath, ex-Republic of Ireland demi-god defender, summed up the mood of the Irish in his response to this bizarre news. "Fuck 'em, we're not coming."

 

FIFA have since clarified that a no-show will lead to the Scots being handed a default 3-0 victory, a result which would be the most comprehensive victory on home soil since 1973.

 

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