Scotch and Proud


Bloody animal

Labour MP and infamous rabble rouser, Eric Joyce, has been arrested and charged with smacking a giant panda in the knackers at Edinburgh zoo. In what can only be termed a hugely misjudged cry for help, the MP (who has only recently being arrested for headbutting a Tory), launched himself into the panda's enclosure before squaring up to the male panda (Yang Guang).


What followed was catagorised by one onlooker as "barbaric savagery" and by another "just a wee kick in the baws." Regardless of the semantics, Joyce is set to (at the very least) have his corporate membership of the zoo cancelled after the full horror of the attack was captured on panda cam.


Where Joyce's descent into feral thuggery will lead him next is anyone's guess, with Paddy Power's current odds showing the anal burglary of a swan to be the most heavily backed next act of shame. Scotch and Proud await in awe.

Scotch Joyce