To complement the UK-leading policy of Holyrood to support free care for the elderly, MSPs are set to introduce a groundbreaking Euthanasia Bill. With tight national budgets and too many old folk, this glaringly obvious tactic will prove to be highly popular with near enough everyone under 60.
The hotly debated conclusion was reached after a 160 page study into the pros and cons of such mercy killings, the anonymous author stating in his summary that, "what we all agreed on was that there are too many old fuckers. Though there was some disagreement as to whether killing the majority of them was the ideal way forward."
Although not set to be introduced until 2015, applications are now being taken from friends, families and acquaintances of the elderly or infirm.