Scotch and Proud


Desperate times.....

In a controversial move that screams "we're fucked," it seems that the fate of the United Kingdom has been placed in the sweaty hands of UKIP leader and general good egg, Nigel Farage. After the miserable track record of the eyebrow-heavy Alistair Darling, a new leader for the Better Together campaign was clearly needed and Farage, the halfwit lizard king/man of the people has now been anointed that man.


With the Yes vote showing a lead for the first time in the campaign, the time for considered and sensible thought has gone and now in fact been roundly booted right out the window. Arch-strategist Ed Miliband has described the move as "both factually and actually the best way of keeping Britain together," whilst David Cameron, Prime Minister and that, has declared the bold appointment as "inspired."


Rupert Murdoch, who's stance in the independence debate remains firmly neutral, has privately stated that this shift in tactics is "an act of such clear folly that to class it as utter bollocks would be to unfairly denigrate bollocks everywhere."


Accusations that the Tories are delighted to have engineered the guarantee of a Yes vote and continued rule forever in Westminster are widely accepted to be correct.