Scotch and Proud


Jim Murphy MP turns his back on Strictly

Jim Murphy has admitted that he passed up the "once in a lifetime opportunity" to appear on Strictly Come Dancing, to instead focus on leading the Labour Party in Scotland. The 48-year old MP for East Renfrewshire has been frustrated by his ability to fill the days since his Irn Bru crate tour of Scotland  for the Referendum. He has also since admitted that the gruelling adventure had left him "on the brink of complete mental breakdown, with a significant laundry bill and little resource to pay it."


Since leading the No campaign to victory, many media sources have confirmed that layabout Murphy had been touting himself for a place on a variety of prime-time reality shows. The BBC has confirmed that he had been offered an unconditional place on Come Dancing and with the MP's love of sequins, tight trousers and the quickstep, this should be of no surprise.


Murphy himself has been quick to confirm that he will now withdraw from Come Dancing. "It would not befit my new role and nor would it be appropriate for me to use the BBC as a platform to even greater success. I am confident that I would have won the show and hope it is acknowledged that I have made the ultimate sacrifice by choosing not to appear. I was approached by a number of reality shows but Come Dancing was only ever going to be the one for me. The days of me eating anus in the jungle have long gone and there was never any chance of me returning to those scenes. The memories are too raw."


The dance floor's loss is clearly the Labour Party and Scotland's gain and Murphy is set to add even more weight to his already lofty reputation as the vegetarian, teetotal, expense-fiddling holder of the Scottish record for being a student the longest without gaining a degree (a mighty 9 years).


We wish him all the very best.

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