Scotch and Proud

 

Jimmy Krankie "upset" by Saville snub

With an alarming lack of consideration for his fellow children, Jimmy Krankie has admitted that it always puzzled him why legendary TV personality and charity messiah, Jimmy Saville, never tried it on with him.  Krankie (brainchild of the husband and wife/father and son team of Jeannette and Ian Krankie) says that he/she frequently encountered Saville at events throughout the 80s and not once did the degenerate try to molest him/her.

 

"I'm not sure what more I could have done" complained Krankie, "I would have thought that I'd tick an awful lot of boxes for him."

 

Leaving aside the questionable nature of such disappointment, a close confident of Saville has stated that Sir Jimmy was "confused" as to the nature of Jimmie Krankie. The source (who does not wish to be named) went on to describe that Jimmy had a long-standing aversion to the Scotch and whilst he would usually overlook that, in the case of Krankie the question marks over actually not being a child were too great to overcome.

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