Scotch and Proud


Glasgow Councillors on Russia's payroll

Newspapers around Scotland are rejoicing at the latest Glasgow City Council scandal, set to replace at least some of the empty print pages left since that there referendum shit done finished.


Whilst there have always been whispers (and indeed proof) of corruption within the council, it had always been considered the good-natured, homegrown kind. The sort of corruption where it was assumed that the corruption could and should be taking place and the people doing it (i.e. Councillors) were only doing what anyone else in the role would be doing. It wasn't mandatory but it was as close to being so as possible, without it actually being stipulated on the job description.


A much more sinister turn has now however been taken, with the announcement by Police Scotland that 30 of the 79 elected members of the Council have been found to be directly on the payroll of Vladimir Putin, President of Russia and noted horseman. The discovery that Glasgow's crime capital is a stronghold for the Russian mafia will shock many, alarm some and leave even more completely nonplussed. In particular, the Scottish press will no longer be able to revel in glamourising the Glasgow gangsters and will instead need to tread carefully in exposing Mr. Putin's attempt at gaining a hold of Scotland.


Although Police Scotland uncovered the mafia links, when questioned as to whether they would be pressing charges with the Russian Leader, a spokesman responded, "Are you fucking mental?" Whilst this neither confirms or denies whether further charges will be brought, it would appear the likelihood of prosecution remains slim.