Scotch and Proud


Scotch ladies opt for anal bleaching over vejazzling


Studies are showing that the Essex craze of pimping up one’s nethers with sparkly jewels is yet to show signs of catching on north of the border. Far from being the gusset improvement of choice, Scotch females are more likely to embrace anal bleaching as their preferred avenue of undercracker housekeeping.


One native who wished to remain anonymous, highlighted some of the issues with jewelling oneself. “I glued a whole handful of diamontes down there but when I opened my eyes after a session, the sly bastard had nicked them all and run off.”

Scotch Domestos