Scotch and Proud

 

Scotland bans Facebook on Christmas Day

Nicola Sturgeon has committed to ensuring that Facebook is shut down in Scotland on Christmas Day, giving "families the chance to reconnect, without the need to update those not present on the size of their respective yuletide logs." Ms. Sturgeon has been keen to stress that this move should not seen as censorship, though has yet to come up with a coherent set of sentences to explain this.

 

Social media experts have criticised the move, explaining that if the aim is to tear children away from their mobiles, banning Facebook is not the answer. "Today's kids don’t even use Facebook anymore - they leave that to their parents and nowadays are more likely to be found on Tumblr, Fumblr, Tundra and Grindr." When this was put to Sturgeon she accepted personal use of at least one of the specified platforms, though would not confirm which.

 

When asked for comment, Facebook founder and all-round good egg Mark Zuckerberg, simply whispered "we will crush them."

 

It is not yet known what the consequences of this shutdown may be but it is clear that it will only add to the stress and pressure of maintaining civilised family relations during this most festive of days. All family relationship research points towards one very clear fact - the more conversation and time spent with family members on Christmas Day, the more chance of an almighty festive fall-out.

 

We wish you all the very best of luck.

 

Merry Christmas.

 

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