Scotch and Proud


Polish defender Blik in filthy outburst

In an extraordinary outburst following the heroic Scottish draw in Poland, Kamil Glik, the imposing Polish centre-half, has labelled the Scots as "shitty shitty shitfucks." The Torino defender and previous upstanding citizen, reacted in anger after a tangle with Steven Fletcher resulted in him having to wear a hair-net of some note, the like of which has never before been seen on the football pitch.


The programme notes for the tense Group D clash gave the first clue as to what would follow, with Glik identifying transexual Con Air actor, Renoly Santiago (pictured) as his hero, mentor and inspiration. A frank admission that will go some way to conquering such taboos in football, a sport notoriously unwilling to confront the widespread hero-worship of hispanic trannies that has previously been clear for all to see.


The term "shitty shitty shitfucks" is not thought to be a term of endearment (even in Poland) and as such FIFA sanctions may follow for the maverick defender.

con air Glik